Ethel F. Shapiro, 1919-2002

Ethel Fink Shapiro, 83, of Hilton Head Island, SC, died Sunday, at her residence. She was born on January 6, 1919 in Chicago and was the daughter of the late Ben Fink and Lillian Wolf Fink. She moved to Hilton Head Island in 1977 from Highland Park, IL. She was a past-president of North Shore Hadassah and former vice-president and longtime board member of Chicago Hadassah. She was a founding member and board member of both Congregation Beth Yam and Hilton Head Island Hadassah. She volunteered for many years at the Hilton Head Library. Survived by her husband of 60 years, David J. Shapiro; three daughters and son-in-laws, Dr. Ann S. Zartler and the late Dr. Robert Zartler of Jamestown, RI, Sue S. and Dr. Irwin Klau of Miami, FL, and Deborah Spector Barry and Alvin Barry of Mount Prospect, IL, and a son and daughter-in-law, Daniel J. and Joy Shapiro of St. Louis, MO and Boston, MA; eight grandchildren, James F. Zartler, Edward R. Zartler (Erica), Andrew L. Klau, Lisbeth L. Klau, Aurora L. Sweet (Samuel), Edward D. Klau, Leigh Beth Shapiro and Bram J. Spector; and one great-grandson, Benjamin Robert Zartler. She was preceded in death by a brother and sister-in-law, Joseph H. and Marguerite M. Fink. A graveside service will be held at 4 p.m. Tuesday, at Six Oaks Memorial Park with Rabbi Mark Covitz, officiating. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Hilton Head Island Chapter of Hadassah, 5 Hadley Lane, Hilton Head Island, SC 29926. The Island Funeral Home and Crematory is in charge of arrangements.
Published in the Chicago Tribune on 6/18/2002.

My mother passed away peacefully at her home at noon Sunday. I had spoken to her on Thursday, and she said to me, "Debby, I'm so fearless." that's when I knew I couldn't wait at all before getting down to see her.

She knew me when I said hello; she loved the stuffed bear I brought for her (a tradition on each visit since her illness), and then, from the first hour I arrived Saturday, her decline was dramatic and, thankfully, so very, very brief. Also with us were my daughter and son-in-law, my sister Ann, our father, and her caregivers. We were up all night with Mom, who, as often happens, had a burst of almost inhuman strength just before the end. I can only say, "we were not alone." There were, indeed, spirits in the room with us. Mother saw them and talked to them, and then she would turn and talk to each of us, looking into our eyes and called us by name. Mom desperately needed to rest, and yet she was struggling to stay awake. I sand her the lullaby she used to sing to my daughter, which is more like a chant of a few notes over and over. On the third time around, Mother opened her mouth and sand with me.

I don't share this to be morbid or "New Age," and although my mother took on three able-bodied women and almost defeated us, I wouldn't trade those hours for anything. My mother was fighting to stay here with her husband and children, and she might have succeeded for a while longer. Thankfully, our father found the strength and grace to promise her that he would be okay without her and to ask her to stop fighting.

This trip of mind had been planned for many months, to celebrate my parents' 60th wedding anniversary on June 21. But I wouldn't want anyone to think that Mom fell short of her goal. My sister Ann remmber that June 21, 1942, fell on Father's Day, as it did in 2002. At noon, our father took Mom's hand and said, "Happy Anniversary, sweetheart." In moments, Mom was gone.

I had thought that we would bring Mom home to be buried in Chicago, but instead Dad preferred she be right there on Hilton Head Island where they had been so happy for 25 years. She is in the Jewish section of the cemetery, and since we were all there with him, he avoided both a difficult long trip and having to come home to an empty house.

I feel the loss every day, because no one every had a mother quite like Ethel Shaprio. She was, as they say, "something!"

David J. Shapiro, 1916-2002

David J. Shapiro, 85, of Hilton Head Island, SC, died July 3, 2002 at his residence. He was born on Sept. 11, 1916 in Chicago, the son of the late Belle Horwich Shapiro and Jacob F. Shapiro. He was graduated from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL in 1937. He served in the U.S. Army Air Corps from 1941 to 1946. He was a professional numismatist. He was a member and former president of the Professional Numismatists Guild and was appointed by President Gerald R. Ford to the United States Assay Commission. He was also a member of the United States Coast Guard Auxiliary and Commander Flotilla 10-11. He and his wife were founding members of Congregation Beth Yam. Survived by three daughters and sons-in-law, Dr. Ann S. Zartler and the late Dr. Robert L. Zartler of Jamestown, RI, Sue S. and Dr. Irwin M. Klau of Miami, FL and Deborah Spector Barry and Alvin Y. Barry of Mount Prospect, IL; a son and daughter-in- law, Daniel J. and Joy B. Shapiro of Boston, MA; eight grandchildren, James F. Zartler, Edward R. Zartler (Erica), Andrew L. Klau, Lisbeth L. Klau, Aurora L. Sweet (Samuel), Edward D. Klau, Leigh Beth Shapiro and Bram J. Spector; and one great-grandson, Benjamin Robert Zartler. He was preceded in death by his wife, Ethel Fink Shapiro on June 16, 2002; and a brother, Lt. Samuel B. Shapiro on June 6, 1944. A graveside service was held Monday at Six Oaks Memorial Park, Hilton Head Island. Memorial contributions may be made to Hilton Head Island Chapter of Hadassah, 5 Hadley Lane, Hilton Head Island, SC 29926 or the charity of your choice. The Island Funeral Home and Crematory is in charge of arrangements.
Published in the Chicago Tribune on 7/10/2002.

A woman of valor

A woman of valor, who can find? Far beyond pearls is her value.
Her husband's heart trusts in her and he shall lack no fortune.
She repays his good, but never his harm, all the days of her life.
She seeks out wool and linen, and her hands work willingly,
She is like a merchant's ships; from afar she brings her sustenance.
She rises while it is still nighttime, and gives food to her household and a ration to her maids.
She considers a field and buys it; from the fruit of her handiwork she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with might and strengthens her arms.
She senses that her enterprise is good, so her lamp is not extinguished at night.
She puts her hand to the distaff, and her palms support the spindle.
She spreads out her palm to the poor and extends her hands to the destitute.
She fears not snow for her household, for her entire household is clothed with scarlet wool.
Bedspreads she makes herself; linen and purple wool are her clothing.
Well-known at the gates is her husband as he sits with the elders of the land.
Garments she makes and sells, and she delivers a belt to the peddler.
Strength and splendor are her clothing, and smilingly she awaits her last day.
She opens her mouth with Wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She anticipates the needs of her household, and the bread of idleness, she does not eat.
Her children rise and celebrate her; and her husband, he praises her:
"Many daughters have attained valor, but you have surpassed them all."
False is grace, and vain is beauty; a God-fearing woman, she should be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands, and she will be praised at the gates by her very own deeds.